Sunday, June 7, 2020

Update 3: Strange times

Update 3: More text.
Update 2: Fix asundery typos

I started to write an article thenI trashed it.  A white guy like me trying to speak to black experiences doesn't really come off as authentic.  Some things are personally experienced and it wasn't my experience. 

I love black people.  They speak from their heart and see bullshit a mile off.  But can I really speak to what black people experience? No.  I love Japanese, Koreans, Chinese, Mexicans and every other race I meet. Each magnificent in their own way.  I truly respect the reasoned way most black people have responded to this apparent murder in Minneapolis.  

I'm not going to apologize for being white.  Most "whites" don't think of themselves as a "race". We come mostly from Europe. In my case mostly Scottish and Welsh ancestry. Never really even understood my own family (we are not "typical Americans" - we were opinionated and non-comformists) until I visited Scotland and saw a lot of people who looked just like me and my family and acted the same way. There's 5 million Scots in Scotland and 55 million worldwide. Those of us outside Scotland are considered Yanks and Canadians or Aussies by our homeland but we all keep an awareness of where we came from. I don't understand why Germans do the things they do (and they are white).  Their love for excessive order and rules is quite baffling to me.  I feel like I need an asthma inhaler in such an environment.  But I accept them for who and what they are, I love them for who they be.  And they make fantastic cars!

Most of Europe was Celtic at one time. There are celts all through the Alps, even today.  The Romans fought the Gaul, (formerly Spain and France) which is romanized version of Gael (as in Gaelic) which simply means "joy". Celts in short. History doesn't tell you that. We are led to believe Celts only survived on the fringes of British Isles.  Spain was Celtic until it was overrun with Moroccans for 800 years, and Vandals, Goths and Visigoths trod through France one winter when the Rhine River froze solid and meandered towards Carthage over a silly doctrinal point in the Church as to whether God was a Trinity or not. Everyone is now a hodgepodge of genetics separated by languages. We don't exactly get to choose a color for our skin. And it's not really white anyway, except under me undies.  Sort of pinkish with freckles I suppose, common to all with celtic ancestry.

I will not claim I had white privilege (I didn't).  I came from a lower middle class family.  My family didn't put me through college, I did. That privilege package never arrived from Amazon I guess...  I grew up during the civil rights movement and women's liberation movement.  And there were very legitimate complaints in both movements.  Much has changed since then.  So much.  Did we forget what it was really like?

After I graduated high school I wanted to be an electrician.  So I applied to Phoenix area union and non-union (Arizona is a "right to work" state) apprenticeship programs run by local contractors. I was told I couldn't get in because I wasn't black or a woman. Simply because I was white. That's hardly privilege.  But I took that in stride, as there was huge injustices done to black people in the 1930's, 40s, 50s and 60s. and I figured if you set out to change things people can get inconvenienced at first.  Nobody envisioned entire "protected classes" of people back then. It was seen then as temporary measures to rebalance society. I found another way. I became a carpenter, building millionaire's homes in north Scottsdale.    And I loved it.  It worked out.  Until the Federal Reserved jacked up home loan interest rates to 17%, killing the construction industry.

But that too got me to wondering who were these hidden "Federal Reserve Members" and how could they do this to people and their livelihoods?  And that led me to going back to college where I discovered computer programming and that I was good at it.  It also led me to search for what the Federal Reserve was all about.  We didn't have the internet then, and research required searching libraries and books and magazines and news papers and it was not easy.

In 2009 I was hospitalized for a month in ICU with septicemia. I had a near death experience (I spoken of that before) and was eventually discharged from the hospital where I went into another month of rehab to learn how to eat and walk again.  I then spent two years in a gym getting back my fine motor skills so I could walk down stairs without a hand rail.

During the crash of 2008, my wife at the time, had been reduced to 20 hrs a week in her job which meant she and I had no medical insurance anymore. We didn't realize that until we applied for COBRA benefits. And this is something people forget in the COVID19 quarantine, many people loose their health insurance when laid off!  The hospital bill for my 30 day stay was $350,000 for 30 days.  I was unconscious for about half that time.

When I was discharged from the hospital we applied for Medi-Cal, the nurses and hospital staff in San Diego warned us "You won't get it because all the people who administrate Medi-Cal are Latino, they only help Latinos".  I was skeptical that the reverse discrimination would be that bad, so we applied, and it was exactly as they said.  Essentially because we both once made good money (two years prior) we couldn't get benefits when we didn't.  This agency was helping only people from Mexico and Central America, but not a white couple who was in really a bad situation. Same was true of the California welfare and food stamps, and was a wholly humiliating experience. I guess they were operating under some presumption I had white privilege?  I dunno.

I try not to assign motives to the thoughts of others.  I just know it was an exercise in futility. Did I bitch about it? No. Did I burn down their offices?  No. Who would even believe me as a white guy??? Only people with shaved heads that I didn't then or now care to associate with.

Fortunately my business and personal credit was in my name, so I declared bankruptcy while my wife kept her good credit.  At least in America you can start over again. There's always a way, it just may not be what you prefer to do. SO DO NOT TELL ME I HAVE HAD WHITE PRIVILEGE!  I have been turned down by state agencies funded with my tax dollars because they'd rather give it to immigrants.  I've seen more than my share of setbacks.  I got through them.  I never thought less of latinos, but it was an eye opener to the intensive corruption in the State of California.

I wasn't taught to hate blacks by my family. My father used 1940s terms for Black people, usually the now racist sounding term "colored people" (which sounds a hell of a lot like like "people of color" to me - the Democrats signal their racism quietly).  My mom listened to Nate King Cole and Johny Mathis while doing her house chores and washing.  Wasn't exactly todays hip hop but it fit the times. "People of Color" is a Democrat Party term that dilutes the voice of American Descendants of Slaves (ADOS) into a hodgepodge of races including Asian. Frankly after 50 years I am still surprised we even keep race stats at all in the government.  Hyphenated identities is a way of dividing people.  We are all Americans. 

My father ran an auto body repair business back in the days when bumpers were large and chromed, and cars had lots of aluminum grills and mouldings. My father would save the scrap metal and broken lead batteries he took out of wrecked cars so an old black man who collected scrap metal once a month, could sell it to make a living. Dad respected anyone who worked for a living.  Didn't matter their race.  This was Arizona in my youth. I grew up with Mexican kids and my dad's best friends were Mexican.  Race simply wasn't an issue. 

In 1996 lived in one of the Twin Cities, St Paul.  My best friend was young bright black man in his 30s with a Masters Degree in English.  He's the one who turned me onto this thing called "blogging". He blogged about black issues and Apple computers.  He was an amazing writer!  He and his wife babysat my daughter when we needed a night out.   Rodney and I would got to the Sports Bar at the Mall of America on Friday nights for beer, one particular cold night Rodney was wearing a big parka with NFL logos on it.  We had cut through JC Penney to catch the escalators up 4 floors.  He got stopped, I didn't.  They treated him like a gang member.  I said to him "they did that to you because you are black!", he just laughed, and said "dude happens all the time!".  I was shocked.  Rodney suffered from depression, and he was on prozac. Tried to go cold turkey a couple of times from Paxil and he said it was like having electrical shocks. He took his life in 2002. SSRI drugs and handguns don't mix.  Rodney's writing changed the iPod, the Apple marketing VP came to his funeral and gave a eulogy about how Rodney changed the iPod, which later became the iPhone. I'm sure Rodney liked that.  Saw Rodney a few times in the dream state after his death.  Came to explain.  I could try to explain what it is like to lose a dear friend that way, but somethings can only be experienced. And at the root of Rodney's depression was a frustration that there was no place in this world for a highly intelligent black man.  Not in the black community (he called it "like crabs in the barrel, pulling the climbing crab down that tries to get out"), and not in the white world.

Somethings can only be understood by experiencing them.  That's why Source itself divested bits of its self into so many varieties of beings here and there.   Somethings have to be experienced to be understood. 

Somethings can only be understood by experiencing them.  Ask Heather about prison when she gets out. Some really bad stuff goes on in Federal and State institutions that have no accountability and never a surprise visits by auditors.  All audits are announced weeks in advance. Commissary items are very expensive. Prisoners only make 25 cents an hour for prison work. It's basically slave labor with a company store. County prisons are notorious as slush funds for local sheriffs, they contract to the Feds to house Federal inmates then cut corners on food and other items.  For what these contract prisons get in prisoner fees you could stay at the Trump hotel! And that's paid for with prison bonds sold to China through JP Morgan. The prisoner gets two changes of clothes, a 2 inch foam mattress, and food that comes out of cans marked "Not Fit for Human Consumption".  It's a high profit business that has a vested interest in long term sentences. Mandatory sentencing requirements were instituted so prison bonds had predictable returns and durations. It was wall street not criminal reform behind that.

So much is going on but it's only with a bit of observation can you see the threads of what is happening.  Not all of the themes circulating are bad, they're just attached to some very dark globalist purposes and divide and conquer tactics.  The globalists have pulled out every trick they have right now. But it's not working very well and its all being seen for what it is.  We know their templates. They always work to templates.

What I am feeling from the millennials is a sadness that these beautiful star seeds know deep inside this world was not meant to be like this.  Not for any of us.  Unfortunately the Clintons and their political machine is very skilled at manipulating the youth, not that she truly cares about them.

The police shouldn't have never been militarized, but were made that way under the Clinton administration. The Bush administration started the program of renting out surplus MRAPS and HUMVEES to local police departments for $100 a year.

Borders are necessary in an unequal world, but if a persons value were available to all, and war was not present, people would have no desire to leave their homelands and families except for tourism.  Borders were created to safeguard kingdoms of control - its essentially an extension of a castle when you get down to it, and in some cases to keep plagues and disease out.   Your passport is monetized with the World Bank by the country you enter, for as long as you are in that country.  Straight lines though land is on its face ridiculous when you think about it.  But if you live in a banana republic where the politics are controlled by large fruit corporations for the purpose of cheap labor, going north looks quite  attractive.  Even more so when George Soros gives you prepaid debit cards to go North in caravans.  Everyone wants to improve their lot in life.  That is just human nature. 

What really needs to change, before borders are abolished, is banking, but globalism is all about expanding banking control.  It's all about gobbling up every asset and exploiting wage differentials.  It is the bankers who are trying to remove Donald Trump.  We knew that as soon as he was elected. It's why Heather went to the White House to warn him, but that meeting got scuttled by an insider.

As a white person, perhaps the most baffling thing to see is white millennials looting and burning down buildings.  It's not something I've seen before.  Maybe this isn't really about race at all, but economic classes? And I guarantee you Don Lemon is not in that economic class.  Millennials have been through it all, 9-11, the two Gulf Wars, Afghanistan, and terror threats and school gunmen scares and drills.  Are we at all surprised they don't feel safe?  Are we surprised they are a little shell shocked? 

I don't support looting or destroying property and people should be held accountable for that, and so should the news media for ginning the fury up. 

Just my thoughts for now.   I love you all!