I had an event here in Texas that really upset me. Didn't know if it was a snub or communications just got mangled. I electronic messaged, I called, no response. I may never know exactly what happened. The more I thought about the more I could hear the drama engine chatter engage in my head trying to figure out the "why" of it all. I really hate looping drama thoughts. They haven't happened much since 2012, most of the time I'm pretty serene internally.
But it was useful in that I saw that I have these triggers in me or I wouldn't have become so upset. Some are worthiness triggers, some are validation triggers and the two are interrelated. It wasn't so much what happened as my reaction to it that bothered me. I shared a detailed version of this story with H and the rest of the crew (they were not involved), but I think I'll leave the private details out of this one. You never know who reads my blog.
I asked Source to see where this all got started and I saw some old memories between ages of 3-5. A time when kids see their parents as near gods and whatever they say must be true, except for "don't touch the hot stove", which we always had to prove to ourselves. I mean they are so tall at that age, the intimidation factor is great. I saw mostly scenes with my dad who was in the military and had some very strong opinions on a lot of things, and was very loud about them, and he thought debating was the same act as conversation. He didn't very much like a questioning precocious little boy with a smart mouth. I realized as a kid I yearned for my voice to be heard and validation as an intelligent human being. I don’t need to elaborate much on the details, we have old issues to address and release….
My dad was a pretty busy guy feeding 6 kids with his car repair business and the insurance companies never paid on time. And you don't really know what its like to be a parent until you become one, and then you realize your parents were just fallible human beings like yourself. I can't possibly know what was going through my dad's mind during those times, probably was just thinking how he was going to fix all those cars in time for his customers. But to me, and most kids at that age, love is listening and spending time, and I didn't get a lot either. Dad got better about that with my younger brothers. I was truly a "middle kid" in a family of 6. I had 3 older sisters.
Dad used say very obvious things (the original Captain Obvious) and I'd say to him "I KNOW" (I actually did know!). He used to turn beet red and say "YOU DON"T KNOW, YOU'RE JUST A STUPID LITTLE KID". In the 1950s and 1960s kids were expected to be seen not heard, but then he had me one of the oldest souls in form on this Earth! And I didn't back down easy. Sometimes my dear patient mom would just look at me and shake her head and I knew she was saying "don't push your luck with your dad".
So I realized I’m the only one that can EVER reliably validate me. I am really the only one who can love me always. Others opinions will vary over time as they perceive me to be. Very few (at this moment on the planet) truly love unconditionally, and most of those (other than my daughter) I have met in the last 10 years. What others think of me really doesn’t matter.
So I realized I’m the only one that can EVER reliably validate me. I am really the only one who can love me always. Others opinions will vary over time as they perceive me to be. Very few (at this moment on the planet) truly love unconditionally, and most of those (other than my daughter) I have met in the last 10 years. What others think of me really doesn’t matter.
If you're looking for validation and love externally you’re gonna get just the opposite and just the gunk that matches your needy frequency your currently in… once I saw what I was doing to myself a lot of stuff came detached energetically. Even had some digestive issue for a couple of days.
The next morning I was shaving and got a clear image of my dad as he looked before the cancer. I'm not the greatest with verbal telepathy but I do get images quite clearly. And there he was bigger than life on that IMAX screen in my head! I said “come on dad that’s on old image… show your self!". I saw a young boy with strawberry blonde hair something like the young Oppie from The Andy Griffith show. My dad was communicating from his new body! I told him I knew where he was and he didn’t have show me the old body. I was told a few years ago he reincarnated near Tucson in his beloved Arizona. He smiled and seemed really happy to know that.
The next morning I was shaving and got a clear image of my dad as he looked before the cancer. I'm not the greatest with verbal telepathy but I do get images quite clearly. And there he was bigger than life on that IMAX screen in my head! I said “come on dad that’s on old image… show your self!". I saw a young boy with strawberry blonde hair something like the young Oppie from The Andy Griffith show. My dad was communicating from his new body! I told him I knew where he was and he didn’t have show me the old body. I was told a few years ago he reincarnated near Tucson in his beloved Arizona. He smiled and seemed really happy to know that.
By releasing the blocked energies with dad, it opened up a path for him to contact me now. He’s got a fresh new life and much more awake this time! 😍
PS: If you have a kid, they're just loaned to you for a while from Source. You may not know exactly who they are. But if you listen to them, do your best to love them, you never know how they will turn out. My kid became an astrophysicist, I never expected that! You just never know who those little beings are and they have minds of their own! Make sure you're kind to them, because you set the stage for their adult lives and what they think of themselves. You can give them a head start.
