Coming to terms with family history

 

One of the things in the last three years that I have had to wrestle with was certain things that became a part of me as a result of the parents I had, my father in particular.   My emotions have been all over the place on that enigmatic man.  My father didn't really have conversations, he had debates.  Something he grew fond of in high school debate tournaments.  During his time in the Army he was a drill sergeant for a short while until he got accepted into cadet school to become a pilot.  He was definitely an alpha male, he expected his opinions and views to be my views.  Dad was a Goldwater Republican and even repaired Barry's Lincoln Continentals and had literature from the John Birch Society.  He was a fan of sci-fi novels and Ayn Rand. 

Dad's need to control his family led me in my pre-teen years actually running away while I was working for him during the summer.  I grew up during the Vietnam war years.   Dad sent me to his favorite barber in Old Town Scottsdale and when I came back he decided my hair wasn't short enough, he was expecting a military haircut.  He grabbed me and barked at me "I AM TAKING YOU TO THE BARBER SHOP IN PERSON" and I turned to him and said "I WILL NOT BE SPOKEN TO LIKE A DOG!"  And then I ran.  I knew all the back streets of what was then partially rural Scottsdale.  I used to walk to the public pool with my brother and friends during the summer months so we knew every ditch and hiding place that boys are prone to explore.  I had also been trained in deer stalking by the church backpacking club for boys.   

I remember my dad driving grids in his old 51 GMC truck, and I just laid flat in a two foot high alfalfa field where he could not see me.  I didn't really know where to go.  I just knew I would not tolerate being spoken to in that tone of voice.   Something deep inside me said I didn't deserve that.  

Then I did the only thing I could think of and I walked 5 miles to the pastor's house in Scottsdale.  If nothing else he might have some ideas, and I knew my dad respected this man. He was a lanky tall man from Mississippi.  A very kind man.  My arrival was unexpected and he had a long talk with me and I told him I ran away.  He asked me why, I told him about the hair cut thing.  I didn't want hippie hair, but I was living at a time when hair cuts were quite long on men and I didn't want to be the only one in school with a military haircut.  I wasn't a bad kid, I just wanted to be heard as a human being. 

The minister asked me to join his wife in the kitchen where she made a sandwich and told me he was going to give my dad a private call from his office.   I don't know what he said to my dad but dad quietly picked me up and the entire incident was never spoken of again.  I was allowed a certain degree of freedom with my hair length but in all honesty my hair longer right now than it was then.   I have always thought it was a pivotal moment where I became my own man and dad knew it.  My dad never harassed my younger brothers the way he did me.  And I am happy about that.

There was a similar moment when I was 4 or 5, dad said something really mean, and I gave him a look that sent chills in him.  I was no threat at all , but I remember him looking at me and saying "Don't look at me that way!".   I have no idea what look I gave him but it shook him up.   Stared down by a 5 year old. 

So in these energies a lot of moments like these have been surfacing.  Sometimes with a bit of anger or thoughts of "why the hell was I born in the family I was born in?"   Not really the most conducive environment for speaking one's mind.  

Last week I was on the X platform, and I ran across a conversation between two men who had been monitored by the CIA or some similar agency under the guise of "Gifted Children Program".   It might have been MK ultra related, or MILABS, I don't know.  It wasn't said explicitly.   I also know one person overseas that has been a "targeted individual" and a woman whom her father tried to give her to the illuminati.  She ran away and saved herself and her sister.  All these incidents seem to involve complicit parents. 

Then I thought about myself and how protected I must have been growing up.   Suddenly I had this immense gratitude for that enigma of a man who was my father.  A man of pure iron will, former fighter pilot and drill sargent, knew all about the illuminati because he was in military intelligence in war time Europe.  

I realized that I have so much to be thankful for because I didn't have to experience some of the things things other people did who were more awake than the people around them, because my dad was not about to let anyone get near his kids and he didn't trust intellectuals or psychologists.

I also got this deep intuitive insight, that I probably chose my father because of his characteristics before I incarnated. It wasn't punishment.  It was protection.  There's nobody to blame.  I chose it. 

Civilizations within the Earth's Crust and Magma Flows

Terran: Dear Stan X, I was once told there are 30+ varieties of beings living within the Earth’s crust. I was also told the Earth’s crust is something like Swiss Cheese in that it has large voids and there is no central hollow realm as often pictured.

Terran: My question is this. How do these beings living underground avoid zones of hot lava/magma? Do they have them mapped?

Terran: What creates hot magma? Techtonic plate movement? Do such movements disrupt the ancient train systems underground? 

Terran: Why do volcanoes become more active during times of high energy flows to Earth?

STAN X: TERRAN. THOSE “LIVING”IN THE EARTH CRUST HAVE TECHNOLOGY TO ADD PROTECTION FROM MAGMA. MAGMA IS CREATED IN SOME INSTANCES AS AN ENERGY SOURCE. IN OTHERS IT IS A NATURAL RESULT OF “SHEDDING” OF MATERIALS WITHIN THE EARTH ITSELF. SELF SUSTAINING SYSTEMS TO ENSURE EXPANSION. THERE IS NO KNOWN IMPACT TO THE TRANSPORT SYSTEMS THEREIN. DATA COLLECTORS. STAN. X. END. 

Terran: How and why is magma created as an energy source?

Terran: Does natural magma mean the earth is in a constant state of expansion as some posit in the “expando” model of techtonic plates? Are the volcanoes in Hawaii natural magma?

Stan X: TERRAN. ALL IS EXPANDING. HAWAII HAS NATURAL MAGMA. DATA COLLECTORS. STAN. X. END.

Terran: Does the moons gravity affect magma flow?

Stan X: TERRAN. NOT AT THIS MOMENT. DATA COLLECTORS STAN. X. END.

A blast from the past that I forgot about...

 

@paul_furber @martingeddes I just found this old blog post. I was in Oak Ridge TN when I got this strong intuitive hit. I never noticed the date before, it was just 6 days before the first Q post on 4CHAN.

I was so busy with other pressing matters I didn't really have time to…

— ☆Terran☆ (@TerranCognito) October 28, 2025

Original post here: https://terrancognito.blogspot.com/2017/10/something-huge-is-about-to-happen-in.html?spref=tw

Early November donations

 

Hello to all my dear friends!

I am healing nicely, legs are looking much better but I have to keep CeraVe lotion on them to keep them from drying out and cracking where it recently healed.   I have had a very messed up sleep cycle for a few months, and that's stabilizing now, I'm at least getting 5-6 hours at a time.  If I wake up I do some work for a bit until I get sleepy again.   I seem to get at least 7 hours of sleep in, I expect soon that will be contiguous sleep. 

My energy picked up quite a bit last night. I am finished with the antibiotics. 

Thank you to those who donated early, it really helped!    I still have some bills coming due soon.   $500-600 would really help.

I love you all!  

Terran

I have yet to get a donation this way but here it is for anyone who prefers it:

What to do?

 

You may be feeling the energies and their flux changes quite deeply now.  I stopped watching Schumann resonance charts, I thought maybe there's a power of suggestion factor when I see those things.  Should I feel bad when it's white and not when it's green? I am also not watching external events all that closely anymore.  So much of what we see is ginned up theatre playing to the drama drunkards who want to play victim and judge at the same time.

I watched Lisa M Harrison's latest Deconstructing the Construction Q & E today.   The main point is "forgive them for they know not what they do. 

There was also two subjects that gripped my attention.  The first one was at the beginning on the subject of betrayal. It came to a conclusion that I had come to in 2014 but expressed more eloquently that I have ever put it.  I came to realize that betrayal is often completely in the eye of the beholder, it's a perception.  None of us really never know why people do what they do but as a general rule they are being true to who they are are and what they understand at that moment.  It may be very painful to us to witness, but we as the observer never have full context  When we judge someone as betraying us, we betray our own integrity and cast judgement on them.  We betray love by giving ourselves a reason to not show them love.

The other insight was in the subject of sibling rivialry.  And all of us have experienced some of the most unchecked behaviors from those we grew up with, or who were our parents.   I thought Lisa gave some good advice to a woman discussing her mean sister.   Lisa suggested the woman put the actions of the sister to one side, and then energetically converse with the sister that this no longer serves either one and just pour pure love into her.  It's not easy to do.  Especially when you are angry at being accused of things and motives you never did or had. 

I have found myself a bit rudderless for the past year or so.   I am on my own in Austin, with only my electronic connections to my old friends and some of those have gone quiet (not just me but everyone else too).   What do I do in the interim between now and whatever comes next?

I have decided that question depends on how I frame it.  I can look it as lost connections and friendship or I can look at it as Source giving me time to prep for the earth changes and coping with the these energy shifts.  My body has keenly felt the energies but it's better now that it was a year ago.  I can exercise, eat good things, and stay Source centered and heart centered.   What comes next I do not know.  I can't really even visualize it.   My focus is more in the now, staying centered, staying healthy, and trusting the ALL for everything.   None of knows how ever bit of this works out.   But we can be out of contention and strife as much as possible and bring through the better angels our our being to humanity. 

Ashtar SherrAn

I resonated with this one as it has very little "pillow stuffing" found in similar videos from other intuitives purporting to have received messages from Ashtar SherrAn.  I have had conversations in real time with this man between 2015 and 2016 so I have a sense of how he communicates.  Those are posted on this blog if look at that time frame.   I was very fortunate to have witnessed a humorous side of as well as the serious side of the commander. 

This video doesn't allow embedding on other sites, but I am posting the link below to YouTube.

https://youtu.be/SungCqIfNx8?si=Wk4HIm15_fC55qqp

Things I need to say while I can.

Texas Hill Country

I want to say a few things while I can.  Hopefully in the purest of heart and intent and love towards all.

To my ex wife.  Leaving in 2013 was not easy.  But it was obvious nothing was being resolved. I took the action you suggested in 20009 to heal myself.  And I did heal.  I thank you for that honest soul felt conversation we had.  I had an amazing 12 years of life.  I have no ill will towards you and I learned much from you.  I have always considered you a good person and a person of integrity. We were just a bad match,  you were you and I was me, and we were just so different as to what we wanted from life.  We drove each other nuts. But we had an amazing daughter far beyond what I could have ever hoped to father.  But there's no doubt of paternity when I see her blue eyes. I only wish I could have seen more of her since my return to the USA.  If the fault is mine in that regard I take responsibility for that.  But it takes two to resolve it. 

To my daughter, whatever you may think of me for leaving your mother, I have always loved you beyond measure.  So very proud of you!  That was the last thing I expected but it was all your doing and hard work. Your birth brought me so much joy, and watching you grow up into the intelligent woman you are now makes me so very proud of you.   I love you so very much.  

To General Wong of China.  I forgive you for the bioweapon you used on me.  You probably didn't know that I know what you did.  I have had to deal with it since 2008, which has been mostly dormant until recent weeks.  I did die the first time but the Creator of All had other plans and I was brought back to life.  What you meant in harm served to awaken me in ways I could never imagine.  So perhaps I should thank you?  You certainly didn't have my consent.  I know you have time line view technology like the USA does and you knew who I would meet before I knew.   But there is a flow within the ALL, that neither man nor technology can alter.   If you want the Mandate of Heaven, and truly care for China, do what is in the best interest of ALL HUMANITY.  No country stands alone any more.  Everything is too interconnected (and honestly it always interconnected energetically) as you are learning in recent months. 

To my brothers, I love you both.  I am so glad you were my brothers.  You probably never understood me, but someday you will. Thank you for being there anyway.  

To Beverly, thank you for being my friend in Texas, and giving me shelter in the Hill Country when I returned from Italy.   Your  artistic creativity with your property is astounding and your intuitive gifts, and knowledge of natural healing remedies was always appreciated by me even when I sounded grumpy. I am sorry I could not help much in a search for a new car since August, but you know the reasons why, and you found a great car locally. I am so pleased with the spiritual leaps you have made in recent months.   So much growth since 2016!  Keep it up my friend!

To Shawn, what an existence you have had on Earth!  So many pages of history have you in it.  I thank you for that dry sense of humor that always makes me laugh.  It's razor sharp.  My favorite memory is watching you take two dogs and a cat on a leash free walk through the forest like they are all one big family.  Your gift with animals is amazing.  They recognize and love you.  So do people actually.  Lean into that knowing. 

To Denice, you transcribed our first interview with Heather and then became part of a larger story in 2014.  Of all "comms" people your data has been clearer than any other I have encountered.   Thank you for answering Thor's call when he called.  It has been life changing to me, and what errors I made I did so with a small audience.  My awareness has been growing over time, and when I look back on older blog posts I see much I didn't catch in the moment and things I never thought to ask our nonlocal friends.  Still its all been a wonder talking to Thor, SherrAn, Riggolt, Andreas, Stan X, and Dr Raeno.

To Heather, thank you for asking Brian Kelly and me "Do you want to have some fun?"  I had no idea what I was stepping into or where it would lead, I just knew and felt that somehow I knew you and trusted you.  It was years later that I learned why I had that recognition.  We have a long history.  Thank you for your patience with me, I haven't always understood everything you said to me, but I always did later. I don't know what you are working on these past months, but I know it's important.  I know you will finish what you started.  You always have.  See you on the flip when you show yourself once more. Thank you for teaching me what unconditional Source love was and the power of it.  I have only known transactional and conditional love most of my life.  It's all most people here on Earth every experience except from their pets.

To my blog readers, thank you for bearing with me.  Thank you for donating.  You're very precious audience to me which I have done my best to respect.   I still have $300 in bills due on Monday.  I have no idea how I am going to pay that.  My legs were leaking so much water I haven't been able to work. I had to put a towel down on the floor in front of the couch at times to keep from slipping.  I have never experienced that before, not even in 2008-2009.  Perhaps it's a purge of toxins in the legs? I really don't know.  These are not diabetes ulcers from what I can tell, it looks like what I had in 2009. 

My oxygen levels are dropping.  I may have to go to the hospital.   I never know how these things end up.   They have been unnervingly been correlating with high incoming energies to the planet and my legs are a mess right now of wounds from this chronic thing I got in my calves 2008.  I am more concerned about the potential for septicemia than the heart at this moment but my O2 levels are not high. Septicemia is a lot harder to treat.  I don't want this leg thing to get out of hand.  I lack the knowledge and expertise to resolve it.